Radation Proof Underwear
Posted in Random by Dan at 10:03 am
Isabodywear is launching a special line of men’s underwear lined with threads of silver that claims to protect “men’s sperm from harmful cell phone radiation” so that you are able to reproduce later in life (I don’t need to worry about that stuff :) ).
The company is giving away 500 pair away for free, so if you want to be a guinea pig for these radiation-proof briefs send an e-mail to isa@isabodywear.ch and ask for a pair, but not sure sure you want to beta test with your *errrrr* jewels.
you just had to didn’t you….
Just wondering why u don’t worry about having no sperm….. are you………..?
In ten years they will discover that the threads of silver conduct the radiation, and 500 men will have radioactive testicles, leading to a super race of humans that can communicate using their brains via radio waves.
The original humans will feel threatened by this mutation, and will declare war on all mutants. The mutants will have the advantage of communicating over vast distances and will synchronise attacks on the leaders of humans throughout the world.
Eventually, forced to do the unthinkable, the humans will initiate Project Orion, a super wave frequency device, so powerful that it will cause all mutants communications to become paralysed.
The sacrifice of initiating Project Orion is that all communications around the world will be destroyed, and will set the human race back hundreds of years.
The mutants, now incapable of communication, and unable to pass the trait on to their children, now roam the land, scavenging what food they can, and hoping to meet others of their kind. They are often hunt down by villagers, wielding pitch forks, and carrying torches.
After a few years, only a scarce few mutants remain. Two of these, Johab and Mariah will bear a child, Yeshua. Johab and Mariah will devote their lives to raising and protecting their precious son.
When Yeshua is in his twenties, he is looking after his father’s sheep, when a storm quickly develops. Deciding to hide with the sheep under a tree, Yeshua holds on tightly to Pneuma, his favourite sheep.
A bolt of lightening strikes the tree, and the electricity passes down, through Pneuma and into Yeshua. When the electricity reaches Yeshua, a divine power is passed to him from Pneuma, not by chance, for Yeshua was the chosen one.
Yeshua soon realises he has the ability to communicate not only with humans of his mutant race, but all humans and animals.
Yeshua uses his powers in during the rest of his life to try and convince the human race that the remaining mutants are not a threat, and that the two species can live in harmony.
Whilst converting millions around the world to his way of life, the leaders of the world, the ones who have the most to lose, are frightened of this new mutant. They realise that they could lose so much from his teachings and followers.
One night, whilst Yeshua is giving a talk in Boston, he is arrested by the police, and charged with inciting terrorism.
His case is railroaded through the courts, and he is sentenced to death.
Millions flood to his execution, begging for his release, but to no avail. As the lethal injection slowly works its way through his veins, the day turns to darkness. Thick, black, heavy clouds loom over the prison. A loud crack of thunder booms out as Yeshua gives his final breath.
Although Yeshua was executed, his memory could never be crushed, and to this day, millions of mutants and humans live peacefully side by side. It took the courage and determination of only one mutant to change the lives of millions.
END
Well technically protecting the sperm is pretty pointless because the lifespan of mature sperm is a couple of weeks at best. So that’s not going to be too helpful for reproducing “later in life.” I guess you really want to protect the germ cells, but everything about this screams “gimmick” to me.