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What do you do if you happen to have a low rating on the latest Madden 2007 football game? You complain dammit! And complain is exactly what Ethan Albright of the Washington Redskins did. Come on, if you were playing professional ball and your rating was well below expectations, you would blow your top also.

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

Probably one of the most entertaining pieces written concerning video games. It never is just a game you know? These are ratings people! This is Madden 2007! The football game for any gaming console!