How to Get Away with Doing Nothing at Work
This post was published 3 years 2 months 25 days ago and its content may not be valid anymore.I have always been in love with the Soprano’s ‘No Work’ jobs, and have always wondered how I could pull that off minus the mob connections. Then I stumbled across this really cool list of things you can do at your job to give the appearance that you are busy, but really accomplishing nothing at work.
- Look Busy: Having papers spead all over your desk helps, as do pencils which are widdled down to the eraser. If you have to walk somewhere, keep your head down, and walk quickly (is also works if you’re trying to aoid being called over to do work, NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!). Carrying clipboard with you while moving around also helps out.
- Look Stressed: If you look completely stressed out, co-workers and your boss will be more likely to leave you alone. To look stressed leave your eyes unfocused, move from place to place quickly, quietly talk to yourself, and when someone asks you a question, stare off into the distance, give a big sigh, and answer them with an irritated tone.
- Speak Quickly
- Hide Find a good hiding place
- Break a Limb
- Excuses
- Never Leave Your Office/Room
- What they can’t see…
- Fool their eyes
- Choose a profession people don’t understand
Anyone else besides me care to test these tips out?
Where I work, no one has any idea what I do or how long it takes. I told them it would take a week to accomplish something that actually only took about an hour and a half.
Sometimes I hide, but my desk is in the corner of the room, so very few people bother to see if I’m there. Every once in a while, I’ll take several-hour-long lunch breaks, where I leave early and come back late. No one has noticed yet.
Most of the time I work on personal projects. I like to write fiction, design websites, shop online, read blogs, troll YouTube, etc. Sometimes I’ll do some continuing education stuff, which I find interesting (sadly, what I do at work and what I do for fun are the same thing, which can make work really frustrating. How is it frustrating? Let’s say your hobby is to fly a kite. How would you like it if you had five other people all arguing over the best way to fly the kite? And no matter what they all agree on, it’s never how you want to fly the kite).
At a previous job, I used to walk around with a piece of paper and appear to be in a hurry, then go hide in the conference room and watch TV (we had cable!).
I don’t know what they think I’m doing this week, but it sure as shit ain’t working for them!
I honestly have been using a few of these, and they all work perfect.
Browsing UNEASY at work is always fun aswell.