Esquire’s rules for those who drink

Esquire’s compiled list of rules which should be respected by anyone who consumes alcohol at a public venue.

1. There is no such thing as a chocolate martini.
2. There is no shame in club soda and cranberry juice.
3. Hungarian proverb: If three men tell you that you are drunk, lie down.
4. There is no upside to karaoke.

Oh quite the contrary, there is very much an upside to karaoke. The inhibitions preventing anyone from making a public fool of themselves dissolve allowing any sober individuals to openly mock you without guilt!