13 Comments

Open my bottle! C’mon, step on it!

June 9, 2006 by in Random,Stupid with 13 Comments

We’ve seen the merging of speed boat and car, shampoo and conditioner, watch and USB drive, mobile and PDA. Today let me introduce you to a new merger that will make our lives much better, surely.

Dogfunk.com is selling sandals with a combined bottle opener. Yes you heard right, the footwear with the kitchenware. From what I gather, this is an attempt to save all beach goers from finding themselves dying of thirst, holding a bottle of bear and pondering the fact that non of their buddies brought along an opener.

I hate to break the news but an invention does exist to avoid this situation, and it’s called the ‘can’. If glass bottled drink is your style, you could always carry a BOTTLE OPENER!!

What’s more, the opener is located on the bottom of the sole. Who in his right mind would open a bottle, a hygienic drinking vessel which he shall place near his mouth, with the bottom of a shoe, something he used to step over poo, sand and several other things?

Now we’ve determined the fact that they don’t make any logical sense to exist. But are they cool enough to be owned?


  • Brandon

    Heh, I know a couple of people with these – they LOVE them. I would never use em’ but hey…..

  • Capitalist

    If I was dying of thirst in the desert, I don’t think a bottle of bear would make me feel any better. Well unless I preferred to be mauled to death instead of dehydration…

  • http://smurfturf.net/ xSmurf

    People never heard of keys or a concret ledge? They open beer just fine!

  • Benji

    But you have to remember, the people wearing these, probably just came back from a manicure/pedicure and dont want to chip anything. I’ll use my freaking teeth if I’m that thirsty.

  • http://gnostinews.com Earl

    Of course they are cool enough to own.

    Not that I would.

  • hoodoo

    i keep an extra condom in the sole of my shoe. it didn’t come from the factory like that, it’s my own modification.

  • http://www.progoth.com Steven

    I don’t wear flip-flops and all my beer comes with twist-off lids….but those are awesome

  • http://www.andrewgrin.com andrew G

    I own these shoes and they are sweet. I love them and because there reefs there so comfortable.

  • ClaMs

    Update: Ever since I posted the article, only the black model is still available. The model shown above is no longer for sale.

  • http://www.nolo.5thirtyone.com/ Dylan

    “bottle of bear”

    What the hell is a bottle of bear?

  • Mike

    a friend of mine bought a pair of these a couple months back…

    i really just didn’t have the heart to explain the “poo, etc.” concept to her.

    hopefully (and yeah, i know i’m saying this about a friend) Darwin will prevail.

  • http://www.myspace.com/AlexTheMartian Alex

    The back of my belt’s buckle is a bottle oppener. and no not a big buckle, it is a scout belt.

  • Patrick

    @Capitalist
    Agreed… A bottle of bear just doesn’t seem to quinch my thirst. Maybe the idea is to scare the thirst out fo you?!…

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