The Men Commandments
No. These really are the ‘Men’ Commandments. Not ten… 38 Commandments that all men should abide by. A few of my favorites can be found below:
1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances:
– When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
– The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
– After wrecking your boss’ car.
– One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
– When she is using her teeth.9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel…and it’s free.
19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights:
– Yeah, Baby, Push it!
– C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
– Another set and we can hit the showers!36.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a “FUCK OFF!” You are absolved of your of responsibility.
Ladies… I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to find the pissy, moody, “I wear the pants” Ladies Commandments. ;) If you feel inclined to create your own version of the Woomens Commandments, I will happily consider posting them for all to see.
(EDIT #1: Feel free to send angry email to Derek at tips@uneasysilence.com – Just put his name in the subject – Dan ;-) )
(EDIT #2: It looks like Dan is trying to save my ass. Ok… I would love to hear the womens version of the 36th Mens Commandment posted above – Derek :))
