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Great work benefits

  • Waking up for your first day of work… Inconvenient
  • Morning stop for coffee… $5
  • 20 minute commute to work… 20 minutes of your life wasted
  • Clocking in for the first time… Semi-exciting
  • Sitting through mandatory welcoming seminar… Gutwrenching
  • Going out to dinner with the boss… Torture
  • Having a “virgin killer” sex professional for dessert… PRICELESS!
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